Why is Breaking Dawn's Kristen Stewart such a misery guts?
DOES anyone else want to give Kristen Stewart a good, hard tickle? Armpit, stomach, thigh - doesn't matter where. That girl really needs to lighten up.
Perhaps she should do a charity trip to Africa, visit the children's ward of a local hospital or read The Grapes Of Wrath to understand the dark side of her California dream.
Sure, she's had a rough year with her "momentary indiscretion" with director Rupert Sanders during the filming of Snow White And The Huntsman, which "jeopardised the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob".
Show me a 22-year-old who hasn't made a similar mistake and I'll show you a real vampire.
(This offer comes with a guarantee of your money back, plus a free set of stake knives.)
I know - she's been a miserable c*#t her whole life (her words, not mine).
She told Britain's Marie Claire magazine: "I'm not sure if I'm most happy when I'm comfortable and content, or when I'm pushing myself to the limits."
Ah, the tortured artist routine. Never heard that one before. Talk about Breaking Yawn.
"There are such different versions of happy," she continued.
I guess she's referring to the happiness felt by other 22-year-olds who can't get a job, find a partner, or reconcile with their families.
A different version, indeed. It seems that vampires do survive on the lifeblood of others.
Much of the publicity for Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (out Thursday) depends on the on-again, off-again relationship between R-Patz and K-Stew.
Recent TV interviews, photo opportunities, and red carpet appearances are a series of coy flirtations between the star-crossed lovers. It is excruciating to watch.
When asked on the US Today Show this week about her recent reconciliation with Robert Pattinson, a dishevelled and fidgeting Stewart replied: "I'm just going to let people watch whatever little movie they think our lives are, and go for it. Keep them guessing, I always say."
If she truly is discomforted, upset, and exhausted by the media attention, why not give up the game?
"I want to be a writer," she once proclaimed, labelling actors "professional liars".
"I never wanted to be the centre of attention."
Which is why, on her last visit to Australia, she gave the "mean" and "vicious" paparazzi the double finger.
"It's not that I'm miserable," she told Vanity Fair, "it's just that somebody's yelling at me."
Generally, photographers call out a star's name so they can put their picture in a magazine, publicise the film, increase the box office take and, subsequently, the price tag of the actors.
It's a business deal: part of the contract is to sacrifice some privacy.
There are rumours Stewart and Pattinson will return Down Under later this month for Thanksgiving.Ya estamos muy hartos de la hipocresía de la "miserable cunt". Su jueguecito de "Odio la fama" ya no se lo traga nadie proque alguien a quien no le gusta la fama, no se dedica a trabajar en algo tan circense como el cine y, menos, se dedica a prodigarse por cada sarao que hay.
Perhaps she should reflect on the meaning of the celebration: To give thanks for a bountiful harvest.
Compared with the pilgrims who had to drink their own urine, her cup runneth over.
It's something I'm always telling my kids (not to drink their own urine, of course): be grateful for what you've got.
Maybe Stewart's mother, a respected Hollywood scriptwriter, could pen a letter to her dear daughter.
Or give her a smack on the bottom. Or a good old-fashioned tickle.
A spurt of serotonin is a sure-fire way to breathe life into the undead.
Quien quiere ser privado, no firma con una marca para publicitarla. Quien no quiere hablar de su vida "privada", corta por lo sano y no comercializa con ella. Esta niñata no tiene talento del que vivir por lo que tiene que dedicarse a los montajes. Como bien dicen, los paparazzis son contratados para que la gente hable de esa persona en concreto y su caché suba.
Dentro de unas horas, veremos a la adúltera vendiendo su vida "privada" en la alfombra roja porque ya sabemos que odia la fama y vender su "privacidad". Menuda fantoche.
Nosotros sabemos eso y por eso este circo nos tiene ya aburridos. Lo mismo una y otra vez y la misma hipocresía una y otra vez. Me sigue divirtiendo ver como las fans dicen que nadie odia más Crepúsculo que Rob. ¿De qué le sirve criticar esta cutre saga, si luego particioa en el montaje para venderla?
Todo es un show que tiene fecha de caducidad. Una vergüenza que dos fantoches que van de actores, no tengan talento ni para fingir amor. ¿Realmente creen que tienen futuro en el cine? Ya veremos dónde estarán los bufones dentro de unos años y os aseguro que no será en Hollywood.
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