Es oficial: SWATH es un fracaso

Lo avisamos pero no nos quisieron hacer caso. Pues bien, ya es oficial que SWATH es un auténtico fracaso. Mirad este artículo:

Snow White and the Huntsman budget recovered?

Rupert Sanders’ Snow White and the Huntsman has earned $354.71m worldwide: as of Thursday, July 12, the film has grossed $150.6m (42.5%) in North America, in addition to $204.1m (57.5%) up to July 8 at the international box office. Not bad at all for a movie some insist on referring to as a “modest” success.
Starring Kristen Stewart as Snow White, Chris Hemsworth as The Huntsman, Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen Ravenna, and Sam Claflin as Prince William, the Universal release had a reported $170m budget. [See SWATH cast $300m+ movies.]
As a rule, Hollywood studios get about 50% of a movie’s box-office gross in North America and 40% of the overseas take. If we apply those percentages (which can and do vary) to Snow White and the Huntsman, Rupert Sanders’ first feature has earned Universal approximately $75m in North America and $81.5m internationally, for a grand total of $156.5m — or about $13.5m less than the film’s official budget.

Snow White and the Huntsman to recover its (big) budget?

Now, is there a chance for Snow White and the Huntsman to fully recover its (reported) budget at the box office? At this stage it seems unlikely (though not impossible), as another $30m or so would be needed worldwide — chiefly overseas, for the film’s domestic legs have pretty much run their course. In fact, though at a considerably slower pace, business has begun dwindling abroad as well; last weekend, Snow White and the Huntsman added a relatively modest $8.2m.

Universal se queda con el 50% de la taquilla en USA y con el 40% de la taquilla mundial. Si sumamos esas cantidades, SWATH da como ganancias solo $156 millones. Teniendo en cuenta que la película costó $170 millones, Universal pierde dinero.

A la pregunta de si recaudarán los $14 millones que les quedan, los expertos dudan ya que la película cae en picado en la taquilla.

¿La Kikis rentable? Va a ser que no porque es incapaz de recaudar lo que el estudio ha invertido en la película. La gente no quiere ver a esta tipa con su boca abierta y su cara de diarrea durante 2 interminables horas.

¿Podemos decir ya que SWATH es un fracaso?

Luisa es la experta en estos temas y lo ha compartido conmigo. Ahora, yo lo compartiré con vosotras.

Las enfermas siempre hablan sin saber y se dejan en ridículo ellas mismas. Decían que SWATH sería un éxito que superaría a THG. La película hace hoy 27 días en taquilla y los números no son nada buenos.

Vamos por partes:

• SWATH tiene como presupuesto $170 millones.

• Para que la película sea catalogada como éxito, en USA debe recaudar los $170 millones de presupuesto + $170 millones de ganancias esperadas + el 20% del coste de producción que son $34 millones = $374 millones.

• Todos sabemos que los primeros días del estreno son lo más fuertes y en los que más se recauda. SWATH en 26 días en taquilla lleva recaudado, en USA, $138 millones.

• Si calculamos la diferencia, SWATH está a $236 millones del éxito. La taquilla en USA se mueve a $1 millón por día así que tal vez dentro de 236 días veamos a SWATH llegar a la cantidad esperada por Universal.

Mi pregunta es: ¿dónde se han metido lo miles de fans de la Kikis? Sí, esos que presumían de poder hacer triunfar a la Kikis. Cuanto mayor sea el presupuesto, mayores son las exigencias en taquilla y los fans de la Kikis no son suficientes y tampoco están a la altura.

Tal vez Universal se piensa muy bien el tema de la segunda parte ya que la primera no está siendo lo que esperaban.

Otra crítica a la basura de SWATH

¡Esta es la mejor de todas! No hacen falta palabras, aunque las hay. Fotos muy explícitas que muestran la gran basura que es esta versión de Blancanieves. Pudes verla aquí pero para ir abriendo boca...

Muchas más malas críticas para SWATH y ya van...

Destaco que afirman que la Kikis no es más guapa que Charlize y que no es creíble que pretenda serlo. Manolito lleva el peso de la película, le viene muy grande y fue mal elegida para este papel. La película es una copia de otras como Alicia en el país de las maravillas o  El señor de los anillos. Pero lo que más destaco es que se repite lo de siempre: la Kikis es tan inexpresiva como siempre y ves a Bella Swan en vez de a Blancanieves. Elogios para Charlize y Chris y tomates para la Kikis.

Vamos, que la película no vale nada y ella menos. (La foto es muy buena. Sale horrible con ese ojo cagado y esa super napia)

Universal was brave choosing first-time feature director Rupert Sanders for "Snow White and the Huntsman," and the result is a muddled riff that wants to be "Lord of the Rings," "Braveheart," Robin Hood," "Willow" and "Alice in Wonderland" all at once. They beat the fairytale-revival ‪piñata‬ and this is what came out.  With Charlize Theron as the evil queen and Kristen Stewart as Snow White, we hoped for something gritty (within the confines of a PG-13 studio film) that would at the very least help empower its tween and teen girl demographic, taking the fairy tale in a feminist direction.

Basing an entire movie around the idea that Stewart is more beautiful and charismatic than Theron is problematic, and isn't believable for a second. Stewart was woefully miscast and given an unfairly heavy load to carry; the talent she has won't be highlighted in roles like this (or as Bella Swan in "Twilight") which continue to bury the spark we saw in her in 2007's "Into The Wild." Were Theron's Ravenna written with the depth it hints at in the beginning, audiences would likely find themselves rooting for her in the end over the lackluster Snow White, who is forced into saccharine CGI-settings with nothing to do but have a sparkle in her eye and would-be epic battle sequences that only highlight the narrative's failure to make her a believable leader to "end the darkness."

This is not a feminist take on Snow White, no matter how badly it wants to be. It tells us beauty is power, and then never successfully subverts that message because Stewart's Snow White is just the stand-in for a heroine who could actually prove otherwise. A feminist retelling requires more than a girl riding a horse with pants and a sword and ending up with a crown on her head -- here these token images read as the consolation prize for an audience that is assumed to be stupid. Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman manages to bring what little soul there is and the Dwarfs provide a dash of diverting comic relief.  The cast does what they can given the cut-and-paste script and beautiful but overly stylized settings, but "Snow White and the Huntsman" is still a rotten apple.

Check out more reviews below:

THR: "This is a film of moments, of arresting visuals, marked seriousness, sometimes surprising imagination and with nothing on its mind, really, except to provide the conventional reassurance of installing a rightful royal on the throne. It's also a film in which you can't help but behold and compare the contrasting beauty of two of the most exceptional-looking women on the screen today, Stewart and Theron."

EW: "It's also a world-class illustration of how, in the age of the global blockbuster, the lust for demographics — for coralling the largest possible audience — can determine aesthetics. The movie works so hard to transform a quintessential girl story into a girl-and-guy story that it's like three movies in one. Theron, knowingly over-the-top, acts in a viciously charged and entertaining style,..By the end, she's supposed to be playing Snow White as Joan of Arc meets Braveheart meets Katniss Everdeen, and she's less than authentic on all fronts."

Salon: "A lot of things go wrong in 'Snow White and the Huntsman,' so many that it’s surprising the film feels as exhilarating and entertaining as it finally does. The problems start with the central premise and the leading actress, but there are also the wobbly CGI effects, uncertain character arcs and unresolved subplots, not to mention the regional British Isles accents, which may be tough for American viewers to follow,..[Stewart] badly needs to get out of the business of playing storybook virginal princess types,..this Snow White — who is sometimes Bilbo Baggins (and sometimes his Ring), sometimes Luke Skywalker, sometimes Joan of Arc and sometimes Henry V — calls for both broad hambone instincts and a natural aristocratic bearing. Stewart possesses neither, looking and acting rather too much like a standoffish American girl faking a posh accent."

Boston Globe: "Charlize Theron gives a performance that fuses astonishing costumes (from multi-Oscar winner Colleen Atwood), alarming special effects, and overacting of a degree rarely seen these days. Theron can be an actress of wit and even subtlety, but it’s hard to bring nuance to a role that requires you to bellow 'YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!' a few scenes after emerging from an oil slick covered in crows,..After a while, you just sit back and let the thing wash over you, marveling and giggling as necessary,..[Sanders] has talent, conviction, and a knack for the arresting image; what he doesn’t have yet is any sense of how to craft a seamless two-hour narrative."

Miami Herald: "[Stewart] has a bum rap of being inexpressive and moribund as Bella in the Twilight movies. But at least she’s physically suited for that role. In Snow White and the Huntsman, this talented but woefully miscast actress is expected to rally an entire army of soldiers, even though she usually looks like she forgot the combination to her locker."

AV Club: "The greatest innovation Snow White And The Huntsman brings to its 'dark retelling' of the Snow White fairy tale is suggesting that its evil-queen antagonist (played by Charlize Theron) has a name, a past, and a purpose. And its biggest letdown comes when it abandons that idea entirely in order to turn her into yet another generic baddie, an impersonal wall of CGI special effects and grimaces for Snow White (Kristen Stewart) to throw herself against,..Huntsman feints at being the Snow White retelling no one has ever seen before, but ultimately becomes the 'been there, done that' of fairy-tale filmmaking."

  Seattle Times: "In any reasonable Snow-White-vs.-the-Evil-Queen matchup, Kristen Stewart wouldn't stand a chance against Charlize Theron. I mean, really. There's Theron as the Queen, smiling in a way that would put frost on tomatoes, standing there with her regal bearing and fabulous feather-bedecked outfits and slightly contemptuous gaze (conveying "I might kill you, but I might be too bored. Let me decide"). And then there's, well, Bella Swan in a corset. It's not a fair fight, and I suspect the makers of 'Snow White and the Huntsman' know it, but apparently you can't mess with the endings of fairy tales,..[It] left me wishing that Queen Ravenna would head off on a motorcycle with Lisbeth Salander and raise some hell — now that would be a movie.

ThePlaylist: "When discussing how powerful males use women and then cast them aside when they reach a certain age, [Ravenna] might as well be describing Hollywood's hiring process,..[It] is often a visually gorgeous movie, at times genuinely jaw-dropping, but the rest of the film is totally drab,..It's a movie made for children that is often shockingly dark and violent, but at the same time probably too frivolous for adults."

Slant: "Much detail is lavished on the medieval setting, a mud-and-shit-everywhere nightmare that could have easily been imagined by the makers of Game of Thrones,..is it destiny that truly empowers the girl or narrative convenience and expediency?...As feminist fantasy, the film is non-committal, and as a reimagining of the fairy tale, it's at best expensive-looking without seeming wantonly so."

Variety: "Handsome but hollow,..The cast does what it can -- especially Theron, whose frequent fits add 'drama' and 'raging' to her regal title -- but can't overcome a degree of flatness to the middle section or lack of consistent excitement at the end. Nor does Hemsworth's roguish charm come across as effortlessly as it did in 'Thor'...The movie and its villain share a common bond: Conjuring a touch of magic is one thing, but sustaining great helpings of it is something else entirely."

Otro fracaso: SWATH

Crítica a SWATH. Su puntuación es un 2 sobre 10 y lo más bonito que le dicen a la Kikis es apio seco jajajajajajajajajajajajajaja ¡Disfrutad!

The scenery is gorgeous. Charlize Theron looks great in close-up and her costumes are spectacular. The special effect of turning all those British character actors into dwarfs is impressive. Um. . .did I mention the scenery is gorgeous?
Yeah, I think I’ve said all the nice things I can think of concerning ‘Snow White and the Huntsman,’ a would-be epic that is merely lifeless at best and flat-out insipid at worst.
Despite all its chain mail and shimmering swords, the first two-thirds is the same basic Snow White story you already know, just a little more. . .extreme. Only, no, it isn’t extreme, it’s faux-extreme. Dark, yes, but bloodless, bland and clearly born from a board room looking to capitalize on “all that fantasy crap the kids like these days.”

By some twist of fate, the dullest of all possible humans, Kristen Stewart, has a high Q-rating due to her involvement in the dreadful ‘Twilight‘ films, so, from a strictly banking perspective, it makes perfect sense to cast her as the heroine of this tale. The trouble is that she has all the flavor of dried celery. She is meant to represent pure life (Ian McShane actually calls her “The One”) with a near Na’vi-like connection to ten foot tall elk and other critters. She’s also Joan of Arc, suiting up in armor and charging on her horse, sword held high.
How it is that a young woman who’s been kept locked in a tower since her prepubescent years knows how to sword fight isn’t explained. If I didn’t jot this down in my notebook, I may have forgotten this little dip in logic, not because the climax to ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ is so riveting it negates all quibbles, but because there are so many dumb parts it is impossible to remember them all.
Here’s one worthy of the some scorn. The Queen (Charlize Theron) forces “The Huntsman” (Chris ‘Thor’ Hemsworth) to go find Snow White in the Dark Forest. No way, he’s going there. It’s so dangerous! If he won’t go she’ll kill him, she says, plus, when he gets back, she’ll resurrect his dead wife (she’s got powers). Despite bitching and moaning that entering the Dark Forest is a death sentence, he leads the Queen’s brother (and others) to Snow White in the amount of time it takes an editor to cut. But Snow White argues “the Queen will betray you!” and the Queen’s brother basically says, “yeah – she’s right. She can’t bring your wife back.”

Why the HELL would he say that? He can’t just say “she’s nuts!” and change the topic? They know The Huntsman is a badass – that’s why they hired him!
There’s plenty more, like when Snow White is in desperate need of a horse for a minute, then a horse appears, but then disappears when she doesn’t need it anymore. Or when Thor’s accent moves from English to Scottish to some sort of Sylvester Stallone. Or the sole attempt at humor: a smelly poo joke. Or the face-morphing CGI that looks like someone left in the pre-viz software, making this the worst bit of big budget special effects since the sink destruction in ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine.’
Basically, this is a movie designed to watch ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000′-style. Lord knows you’ve got to say something to break the tension when Charlize Theron is writhing around on the floor whimpering.
Poor Charlize, she really gives it her all, but she’s all over the map. For a minute I thought she was going campy, like Julia Roberts in the vastly superior ‘Mirror, Mirror’ or super depraved like Lena Headey’s Cersei in ‘Game of Thrones.’ I get the impression that the production may have been buttoned up on the outstanding crowns she wears, but the character’s tone was never locked down.
The blame for all this rests on the screenwriters (one of whom is the always awful John Lee Hancock) and the director, newcomer Rupert Sanders. The characters are given nothing unique to say or do and Sanders has no clue how to take lemons and make lemonade. There are two opportunities where Kristen Stewart and Thor are supposed to “share a moment.” I wouldn’t be surprised if the screenplay just said “Insert Emotional Connection Here, details t/k.” Sanders takes this and runs with it by having his leads. . .stare at one another. That’s it. That’s what’s supposed to set 13-year-old girls’ hearts aflame and prove the executives that greenlit this disaster were right. Instead, it’s a laugh riot.
Oh, and the mirror on the wall? It’s more like a giant gold punch bowl. What’s up with that?

Oh Kikis, nos encanta ver que tú también piensas que eres una basura en cada película que haces.

Desesperación por vender SWATH

La Manolito está tan desesperada por vender SWATH que ha hecho una proyección sorpresa en LA. Ella y Sam, con el director, se pusieron sus trapitos de galas más horrorosos y se fueron a la alfombra roja. Eso sí, casi desierta. Lo que más había era prensa porque fans, no había apenas.

Esta fue peinada y vestida a lo Rottenmeier porque ahora le va ese rollito. Camisa abotonada hasta arriba, falda corta, zapatos feos, peinado de señora mayor y maquillada con 4 capas o más. Un esperpento que intenta vender la película en LA. Le va el rollito hombre y cada día se esfuerza en parecer uno.

Otro fracaso para esta. No consigue atraer a gente, ella sola, y quiere salvar SWATH cuando será otra basura como OTR.

Eso sí, Manolito lleva nuevo anillo y para las enfermas, que siguen reventadas y desesperadas, es otro regalo de Rob. Pobres infelices necesitadas de esas mentiras fantasiosas.

Manolo, lávate los dientes. Sigue con la carroña amarillenta entre los dientes. Le tiene que pestar el aliento de mala manera. Entendemos que Rob no la bese porque su aliento tiene que oler peor que el estiércol.

Él fue el gran ausente porque tiene cosas mejores que hacer, como vender su película, Pero la gram amiga Scout asistió y el lameculos de Giovanni también. Este parece el relaciones públicas de la Manolo porque no para de venderla y sólo surte efecto entre las enfermas.

Pero qué mona es la Manolo... Ha hecho un pase para sus amigos que no pudieron ir a Londres. ¿Me quieres tomar el pelo? jajajajajajajajajajaajajajajajajajajaja Curioso que esos amigos se limiten a estos dos necesitados de fama. La Manolo es tan pero tan buena, que ella no lo hace por posar y conceder entrevistas, lo hace por sus amigos. Si lo hiciera por ellos, haría algo privado y se los llevaría al cine, no montaría esta poco poblada premiere. Increíble que nos quieran vender a esta mamarracha como alguien bondadoso jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja Una payasa que se rodea de payasos.

Los reviews de SWATH son de lo mejor

¿Os resumo lo reviews? Película mal dirigida, película con efectos especiales normalitos, historia poco creíble, los mejor está en el trailer, 2 horas son demasiado y la Kikis sigue siendo la inexpresiva Bella Swan. Resumiendo: que es mala. ¿Avisamos o no? Universal ha hecho una nueva basura cinematográfica de 2 horas que la gente no soporta.

Mañana publicaré todos y nos echaremos unas buenas risas.