Hasta los medios la llaman miserable

Miserable y puta, no digo más jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja Estas son algunas lindezas, y verdades, de este artículo. ¡Disfrutad!

The always effervescent Kristen Stewart has three facial expression modes for the world - "Sullen," "Sneering," and "Stoned." Last night at the Cannes premiere of boyfriend Robert Pattinson's Cosmopolis, it was the first two on the menu. You'd be sullen, too, if you borrowed Jessie J.'s stylist and the wacky queen chose a dress that made your titty buds look like they're fighting over who gets the B cup status tonight. And that nipple! It's almost there! Just let it be great, K. Stew!
After much deliberation, I've determined there could be three possible reasons for why Kristen Stewart is so stank-looking all the time:

1. She thinks she might have something on her teeth. You know people get OCD about something in particular? A former co-worker was always asking people to check "her grille" for stray food particles and her nostrils to make sure there were no "bats in the cave". Or, all the finger-sucking has fucked with her teeth and she's hiding them.

2. She thinks that all of this publicity is silly, and just wants people to let her practice her craft. Bella just wants to achieve true artistry! The problem is that she hasn't given a good performance since playing Jodie Foster's transgender daughter in Panic Room. The artistry ain't coming!

3. She's a cunt.
It could be #3. Seriously, if being rich and famous is such a burden, step aside. I'll take over. J. Harvey can play an ineffectual girl in the woods in love with sparklepires. I'll squeeze my moobs into that dress. Shit, I'll make Christina Hendricks feel deficient.

Kristen Stewart abucheada en la premiere de Cosmopolis

Más travesti que nunca, la Manolo ha llegado con pelo cardado, purpurina en los ojos, labios rojos y vestido que no rellena porque no tiene nada para rellenar. La envidiosa ha llegado escotada para atraer la atención  y ha SIDO ABUCHEADA. Caras de asco y de amargada en una premiere que no es la suya. Quiere proteger tanto su relación real, que ella no hace nada por obtener atención y que se hable de ella. Protege tanto su privacidad, que no acude a cada evento en que haya cámaras.

Sólo ha ido por atención pero le ha salido fatal porque la prensa está hasta los cojones de esta niñata. Abucheada durante todo el tiempo que posó y lo hizo con Tom. Eso sí, cuesta diferenciar quién es el hombre jajajajajajajajajajajaja Vaya poses que pone la vasta. También estaba Ruth porque ella sin su publicista, no va a ninguna parte. Pero claro, si ha ido a venderse, la tiene que llevar.

Abucheos a la Manolo que estuvo a punto de echarse a llorar jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja Minuto 1:31 y mirad como se aguanta el sollozo jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja A ver si se entera que no es una diva.